Dear Lady,

Lady, Lady, Lady please listen to this!

When I got married, I had few situations to face from words and actions from friends and loved ones done towards me. Yet I look back, an think it’s quite funny, because I remember taking everything on the chin, as though I couldn’t see or hear things. As you may know from my posts, I want to have a clean heart with God and want you to also. I believe God didn’t want me to take anything to heart because he wanted me to mirror this in my marriage. A great testimony took place on my big day, two of my good friends reconciled. What a joy! everything known and unknown was forgiven!

Lady I’m going a little deep, please don’t be offended. I am writing things that seem to have been ignored, yet have hurt many people along the way. I know we all have a nice side to us but lets look at the side we rarely talk about, So let’s talk.

1. Check how you handle situations with people

It’s time to take off the mask completely! I need to share this with you because it is important. How you behave while single or with a ring will be the way you behave when you are married, both the good and ugly. I feel I need to address this because most people assume that when they are married they take on a new nature. That is not true! Though you have been reading courtship books for 1 year, you still have to renew over a decades worth of information that has become your nature. So this will take time. why ? because our behaviour is embedded into our subconscious, so it doesn’t matter what you know of the bible, if scripture has not unmasked you, then you will remain masked. Meaning whatever comes your way, you will be quick to react with your subconscious.

The way you treat others that upset you will be the way you treat your husband also. It may be a love affair now, yet there are some aspects of life that have not tried you with him but may have tried you with other people, how have you handled it with them?

2. Avoid carrying offence into marriage

Carrying offence and un-forgiveness into marriage is dangerous, why? because all it says is that you are not ready to forgive anyone who offends you, and the shock of the matter is your husband will offend you in ways you are not ready for and its not that it is done on purpose, but because two people are learning to adjust to things.

If you want to stay married forgive that person today, if you want to stay married stop murmuring under your breath, if you want to stay married fix your character. You know where you need to change and especially if God is telling you to but you are ignoring him because things seem okay at the moment. Never wait for something to be a shock to your system before you change. Change now, love now, be humble now, be calm now in Jesus name!

While you’re preparing for the big day, as glamourous as it may be, ensure your marriage life mirrors up to it. Let people see that glow in your marriage and the purpose of it. Your lights can’t be shining on the day but after it becomes hidden, the devil is a liar.

If there is anything you take from these Engaged series, please take this post with you. Change any character and behavior towards friends and family that does not reflect Christ. Your not better than anyone, neither are you always right. Make room for correction.

2. Have a correctable spirit

The truth is when your married, your husband will correct something that you have been so used to, what will you do? start shouting or saying evil in your heart when he’s gone?? let’s be real now, how will you take it? are you prepared for it? or do you think it will be a life of ‘Yes darling!’ every day?

Please start changing into God’s image of love, truth, and righteousness in thought, word, and deed. Don’t think that any wrong deed to people before your married life will disappear, there is what e call seed time and harvest and I am sure you wouldn’t want to be harvesting from wrong deeds in a new home. But harvest from good deeds instead.

3. Serve God with your relationships

If there is anyone you need to reconcile with, do it today, ask the Holy Spirit for words of wisdom and love. If there is anyone who has offended you knowingly or unknowingly reach out to them and be at peace with everyone. The last thing you want is your husband testifying of bad behaviour rather than good, saying ‘I remember when you did this and this, now look’ how embarrassing! and because he will be your husband he will tell you as it is, I believe.

4. Treat people fairly

Let go of having a certain way you treat your fiance from your family, friends, colleague, sisters, and brothers in Christ. What really is the point! It only highlights spilt-personality which I rebuke in Jesus name. But see where I am coming from now. All the people above shouldn’t have different things to say about you that your fiance can not testify of. Of course, we have different love language for people in our lives, yet our behavior should be true. Not that some see the nice and kind side, others the angry side, others the jealous side, others the giving side and then others the Jesus side!

Enough is enough, and I pray for grace for you to not be offended by this post but to act on it in faith. God is ready to help you change any behavior that will be an obstacle in your marriage while helping you truly forgive.

If this resonates with you, drop a comment below/ prayer request in email

Much love, Sarah